When God Does Not Answer

“How long wilt thou forget me, O LORD? for ever? how long wilt thou hide thy face from me?” (Psalm 13:1).

There are few trials more painful than unanswered prayer. It is one thing to suffer; it is another to suffer after pleading with God to intervene . We pray for a dying child, a broken marriage, an unconverted son, relief from illness, deliverance from temptation, or the preservation of a church. The matter is not trivial. It seems urgent, righteous, even necessary. Yet God appears silent.

This was the challenge that someone asked me earlier this week, and I read this Psalm this morning at our Family Worship. Here are some answers to this painful and trying challenge of the Christian life.

Psalm 13 was written for such hours. David does not pretend. Four times he cries, “How long?” He feels forgotten, left to his own thoughts, burdened with daily sorrow, and apparently defeated by his enemy. Matthew Henry says, “Long afflictions try our patience and often tire it.”[1]

Yet the psalm does not end where it begins. Before David records any change in his circumstances, he says, “But I have trusted in thy mercy” (v. 5). Here is the first great lesson: faith must learn to rest in God before it can understand God.

God’s Silence Is Not God’s Forgetfulness

David says, “How long wilt thou forget me?” But God had not forgotten him. The feeling was real; the conclusion was false. Calvin observes that in such darkness “by faith we apprehend his invisible providence.”[2]

A mother may leave the room while the surgeon operates, but her absence from the child’s sight is not absence from the child’s welfare. So the Lord may hide His face without withdrawing His heart and hand. What looks like neglect may be providence working behind a curtain.

We must therefore distinguish between an unanswered prayer and an unheard prayer . Thomas Watson wrote, “God may hear us when we do not hear from him.”[3] Daniel’s prayer was heard before the answer arrived (Daniel 10:12). Zacharias had apparently prayed for years before the angel said, “Thy prayer is heard” (Luke 1:13). Bishop Ryle therefore wisely wrote that “prayers are not necessarily rejected because the answer is long delayed.”[4]

Sometimes the Answer Is “Wait”

Why delay? Because God is not merely arranging circumstances; He is forming saints .

Psalm 13 shows David being driven from anxious self-counsel to direct dependence upon God: “Consider and hear me, O LORD my God” (v. 3). Delay exposes how quickly we lean upon our own understanding. It stretches faith, deepens prayer, humbles pride, and teaches us that we need God more than we need the thing we are asking from God.

A fruit picked too early may be large enough to see but not ripe enough to eat. We often think the blessing is ready because we are ready to receive it. God knows whether we are ready to carry it.

Sometimes the Answer Is “No”

This is harder. Scripture never promises that every sincere request will be granted in the form requested.

“If we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us” (1 John 5:14).

The governing words are “according to his will.”

Paul pleaded three times for the thorn from his side to be removed. God did not remove it. Instead He said, “My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9). Paul asked for changed circumstances; God gave sustaining grace. Was that a lesser answer? No. It was a deeper one.

There are also prayers God refuses because we ask amiss - wrongly, with wrong motives (James 4:3), or because cherished sin has corrupted our fellowship with Him (Psalm 66:18). But we must not cruelly conclude that every painful non-answer proves secret sin. Job suffered without such an explanation, Paul’s thorn was not punishment for hidden wickedness, and David in Psalm 13 is treated as a believer under trial. Sometimes the reason lies not in our sin but in God’s secret wisdom .

The Desperate Prayer and the Greater Purpose

Here is perhaps the hardest question: why does God answer a small prayer and apparently refuse the one upon which our heart seems to break?

Because we see one thread; God sees the tapestry.

In John 11, Martha and Mary sent the desperate message, “Lord, behold, he whom thou lovest is sick.” Yet Jesus deliberately remained where He was two more days. Lazarus died. The delay looked like indifference, but Christ said it was “for the glory of God” (John 11:4).

The Lord may therefore love us too wisely to obey our timetable. He may deny the lesser mercy to give the greater. He may remove the prop so that we lean upon Christ. He may let the night lengthen so that we learn to see the stars.

What, Then, Should We Do?

Pray honestly. David did. Search your heart. Submit your request to God’s revealed will. Use lawful means. Keep praying while the door remains open. But refuse to make God’s love depend upon the outcome you desire.

Psalm 13 begins with “How long?” and ends with “I will sing.” Spurgeon said, “David begins many of his Psalms sighing, and ends them singing.”[5]

That is the school of prayer. God does not always explain Himself, and He does not always give us what we ask. But He gives Himself. And when the believer cannot trace the hand of providence, he may still trust the heart of his Father.

Footnotes

[1] Matthew Henry, Commentary on the Whole Bible (1710), comments on Psalm 13:1-6.

[2] John Calvin, Commentary on the Book of Psalms , comments on Psalm 13:1-2.

[3] Thomas Watson, The Ten Commandments , section “Prayer”: “God may hear us when we do not hear from him.” Watson goes on to give several reasons why God may delay an answer.

[4] J. C. Ryle, Expository Thoughts on the Gospels: Luke , comments on Luke 1:13-17.

[5] C. H. Spurgeon, “Howling Changed to Singing,” Metropolitan Tabernacle Pulpit , vol. 39, sermon on Psalm 13:1-2, 6, preached 28 April 1889.